kitchen lust

My dream kitchen

Click on the above link to see what I have been drooling over this afternoon. Pretty please, can my kitchen look like this some day?

Here is a little something to get you in the holiday mood:

Nothing like pink bunny ears and cheese and crackers to get you excited about Easter!

love

To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal.  Wrap it carefully around with hobbies, and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. 

C.S. Lewis

One night, a month or so ago, the above realities about love became suddenly real to me.  I was lying in bed, happy and content, thanking the Lord for the incredible amount of blessings in my life, when I was gripped by the overwhelming fear of losing Mike.  That fear of losing my husband and best friend was followed by more dark thoughts of losing others that I love, which then flowed into grief over losing my mom.  I rolled over and spoke those fears out loud to Mike.  We talked through those fears, and what they mean.

Loving is a risk.  It takes courage.  It takes stepping out.  It often means heartache.  Love is a scary thing.  But is what we were made to do.  It is what God calls us to do.  In Jesus' own words:

"My command is this: love each other as I have loved you."

Jesus took the ultimate risk in love.  He loves so deeply that he was willing to face humiliation and die on a cross, only then to have so many of those he loved turn his back on him.  And he asks us to do the same.  To love, regardless of the consequences.  

I have felt so challenged in this lately.  To love despite not receiving the same love in return.  To continuing loving despite the fear of losing it.  To love through pain and frustration.  To love simply because it is what Jesus is asking me to do.  And I think Mr. Lewis is so right; when we avoid love we are putting ourselves in a coffin.  Yes, it is safe, but there is no light, no air.  We have to embrace the vulnerability of love to really experience what God intended life to be like for us.  

This post was even difficult for me to write.  Just thinking about the relationships in my life, what they mean to me, and those that I love pulls on my heart.  Despite the pain or vulnerability that comes from those relationship, when I think about them not being a part of my life...  well, my life just looks empty.  So daily I decide that the risks of love are worth it.  

friday night

How I spent my Friday night: wearing my husband's sweatpants, listening to Norah Jones, and baking.

The end result: banana bran muffins!

And let me be perfectly clear, I am 100% okay with my wild Friday night plans.

porch swing

Mike and I like to dream about what our future home might look like.  It has been the recent topic of many dinner conversations.  While out for a walk, or driving through neighborhoods, we will point out houses that we like/don't like, and what features we want in our dream home.  One of our biggest dream house features is a front porch.

Big.  Old wooden floor boards.  A swing.  A small table and chairs in the corner perfect for breakfast.  Potted plants.  Summer nights. Early mornings.  Iced tea.  Good conversation.  Watching the storm roll in.  Friends.  Food.  Rocking chairs.  Kids playing in the yard.  A good book.  Watching the leaves change.  Checkers and backgammon.  Listening to the birds.  Morning cup of coffee and the newspaper.  Simple. Lovely.

An All-American Girl

Remember American Girl dolls?

I will admit now that the above picture totally creeps me out (especially the dolls that are waving at me...), but go back 15 years and I loved anything American Girl related.  I had all the originals:

Samantha, the generous and loyal orphan growing up at the turn of the century:

Molly, the odd one out with glasses, during the midst of World War 2:

Felicity, the spunky colonial girl, full of independence:

Addy, the determined slave girl striving towards freedom during the Civil War:

And Kirsten, the spunky pioneer girl:

My parents, relatives, and godparents spoiled me and fueled my love for American Girls.  I had it all, the dolls, the books, the clothes, the accessories.  I distinctly remember the Christmas Eve when I opened up the big box and saw Molly.  Best Christmas ever!  But it was pretty simple way back in the early 1990's.  Just your handful of dolls, their books and clothes.  

When I started thinking about my childhood love for the dolls, I started doing a little research into where American Girl is now.  

Whoa, they are in a whole new realm now.  New dolls I have never even heard of, "Bitty Baby" baby dolls, and get this, dolls you can design to look however you want, or to even look just like you.  

I decided to design my own doll in my likeness:

Yup, my very own Sarah Hughes inspired American Girl doll.  Complete with glasses to match mine, and even a yoga outfit!

And to leave you with just one more creepy and haunting image... Bitty Baby Twins!!