a tribute

My mom was the epitome of what the term "mother" means to me.  My heart tugs and swells and sings and breaks when I think of my mom.  My mom was the best.  I know everyone says that, especially this time of year.  But in my case, it is true.  What my mom was to me can't be topped.

My mom was quiet strength.  My mom was grace and beauty.  My mom was humble and a servant to her core. My mom was compassion and undeserved grace.  My mom was a fierce fighter and warrior in a tiny package.  My mom was a safe and comfortable place to land.  My mom  was what home meant.  My mom was compassion and kindness.

She gave birth to me.  She loved me before I was born.  She cherished me.  She always came when I called out in the night.  She kissed band-aids and combed hair.  There was a home cooked meal every night.  She was at the sideline of every softball game and at the finish line of every cross country meet.  She saved the day when a lunch was forgotten or homework left at home.  We said our prayers together every night.  She wiped away tears.  She rubbed backs when sleep wouldn't come.  She protected my childhood, held me back from growing up too fast.  She fiercely protected me.  She believed in me, encouraged me, stood behind me.  She showed me how to courageously fight.  She sent me off to college, and answered the phone when I called crying every night.  She taught me how to be a woman.  She gave me everything I needed to keep growing, learning, and succeeding after she was gone.  She taught me how to live life, live it with joy, and to live it well.

She was a lover.  She loved others so well, better then almost anyone I know.  The people and stories came pouring forth at her funeral.  How many people did I shake hands with and hug that shared how my mom had touched their life?  Countless people told me how my mom had impacted their life, how my mom was a bright spot in their day, how my my changed the world through small actions.

Mother's Day is hard.  It has been for the last three years.  I am missing out on so much.  I know my mom would be my best friend and biggest supporter, if she were still here.  I miss her love, and I miss loving her.  I grieve deeply.  But amongst the pain that stands out a little stronger on Mother's Day, I can also rejoice and praise God that I got 19 years and 7 months with Ann Dobbins as my mom.  I am so blessed by that.

So here is to you, mom!  I'm going to go for a walk and enjoy a plain dish of Dairy Queen vanilla soft serve, in your honor!